A Merry Future Homemaker - Part Two

As we start a new chapter of maidenhood, life after formal academics, we enter into the beginning of a new season of life.

I completed my formal academics, the summer of 1999, and that fall was an adjustment for me. When people asked what grade I was in, I replied with a phrase that seemed strange to my ears, "I am graduated." Graduated? What exactly does that mean?

To any young woman who desires a joyous life of serving the Lord, family, friends, and, Lord willing, building a new family for the glory of Christ, it means something entirely different from the worldly ambition of a selfish life of pursuing a career for a "better, happier life which won't tie us down."

People often wonder, when I tell them I'm not going to college, about what I would do if I were ever widowed with small children to take care of. How would I support myself, they ask? We shall answer that question in a minute, but I want to first back up and see what the Bible says on the subject.

When young women were to wed, there was a call for a bride-price which the groom was to pay to the father-of-the-bride. This price was set by the father. Why was this required? It was to be set aside to be used to help support the daughter (and their children) in case she was widowed.

Customs have changed since then, or have they? What would be considered a bride-price today? One example might be life insurance. If the husband were to be taken away suddenly, the insurance would leave the wife (and their children) financially provided for until she is able to remarry. I Timothy 5:9,14, stresses that if a woman is younger than 60 years, she should remarry, bear children, guide the house, and give no occasion for foes to speak reproachfully.

What if we do not have life insurance after we marry? I Timothy also states in verse 8 that the family would then step in to care for the widow. The family should actively help her to seek out a new husband, if she is under the age of 60.

But what if she has no family or they are unable to help? As a last resort, biblically, the church would step in to assist the widow. Sadly, the church in general today doesn't always exercise their responsibilities to the widowed, so life insurance is a wise option.

There is no need to worry about the future. No matter what the days ahead bring, whatever your circumstances may be, have faith in the Lord to provide for your needs.

"Wherefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof."
~ Matthew 6:30-34

Further Education? or Job Outside the Home?

"Who can be rightly educated for any future situation if it is concealed till all its obligations and responsibilities burst suddenly up them? ..... in the training of young women the whole of womanhood in its full relations, obligations, and responsibilities must be laid before them."
~ from "Female Piety" by John Angell James

One never stops learning. From the time we are born, to the day we pass on to the next life, we are always learning. Knowledge is something that the body craves and thirsts after.

We have come to the topic of college. I mentioned earlier that I have chosen not to attend college (and my parents echo this decision). May I share with you some things I have observed concerning this topic?

Because we live in a fallen world, there are many temptations and things to distract us from our vision of being keepers at home. How are we best able to preserve our contentment of a glorious life at home, if we are not in it for months at a time or away from it more waking hours than we are in it? What kind of things are luring our hearts away from our high calling or shaking our ground of contentment?

Pursuing a life outside of the home, day in and day out, at college or a job, has a way of wooing and stealing our hearts away from our God-given role of being keepers at home and from our families - especially in seeing the blessing our father's covering brings. It is not a sin to go away to college or to have a job (unless your father doesn't wish you to do so), but it is not wise or prudent.

One doesn't have to look far to see how damaging this life can be. Life centered continually outside the home can subtly and not-so-subtly cause us to be independent, self-centered and make us think that the time at college or at a job is the greener pasture - "a 'care-free' life where there aren't any responsibilities other than ourselves to think about."

Will we have learned to be happily content in doing the every day things in life - caring for the sick, changing diapers, washing dishes, doing another load of never-ending laundry, reading "The Little Old Woman Who Used Her Head" for the 100th time--for the glory of the Lord and rejoicing in serving Him? Would the life-style away from home encourage and build a heart attitude of serving others, working together as a family, making memories to last a life-time? Or are you missing Johnny's first step, Rachel reading her first book, watching Rebecca mature into a lovely young woman, family vacations or day trips, etc. because you had to study or go to work? Is that life as free as we thought? Free from 'care', free to do things with our family, free to minister to others, to travel; is it encouraging a life of serving others or ourselves, equipping us with tools for a life as keepers at home, giving us contentment under our father's authority and covering?

What are the alternatives to furthering our education? One way might be correspondence courses. There are many Christian colleges that offer this kind of a study-method. On the whole, there is flexibility in the time we can study, we are safer from culturing an independent spirit, we are learning how to manage our time, to be others-centered than self-centered, finding contentment in home-life, and, most importantly, we are remaining under our father's protective covering.

"A head is given to a woman for protection, safety, and shelter. We must not run from the safety of our own head...The woman must cultivate a very high view of her head, both the position God has given him over her, as well as the authority God has given him. When woman adopt this high view, submission is seen in an entirely different light. Submitting to someone whom God has placed over you with loving authority is a relief, not a burden."
~ from The Fruit of Her Hands by Nancy Wilson

If you do not desire more formal academics but wish to keep your prior studies fresh in your mind, you might consider teaching your siblings part of their academic work. This benefits you (by learning valuable teaching skills that you can use with your future children), your siblings and your mother (by relieving part of her household duties).

Life can get very busy after completing formal academics! Because reading if often the last thing that I am able to get to in the day (a chapter or two before bedtime), I have made a personal goal to read at least one book a month. I love reading and I especially love history, so most of the books I read are historical non-fiction, historical fiction, or life-skills books.

There are many ways to retain and build your knowledge from home. Be creative and have fun learning.

What about a job? There are many things that can be done at home to earn some spending money, as well as learning skills in a trade(s), marketing, selling, etc. Some things that can be done might be: basketry, rubber-stamped stationary, quilting, calligraphy (on wedding invitation envelopes), restoring and refinishing furniture, raising animals and selling their young, sewing clothing, doing alterations, gardening and selling the vegetable produce or flowers, and so on...I have a friend who takes homemade baked goods to farmer's market every Saturday, another friend who sells Bosch mixers, another who buys and sells cows, another who has a bread business, and yet another who gives sewing, calligraphy and piano lessons. There are endless possibilities! Find out what you enjoy doing most and try your hand at a home-business.

The fun part of home-businesses is you can get your brothers and sisters involved, if they are interested. It could become a family effort. What a way to build memories!

There are many ways to prepare for the future and to stay busy in the home. Let us embrace and put to good use the gifts or talents the Lord has given us.

What we do now will affect the way the younger girls, who look to us as godly examples, will envision their life of contented maidenhood. When we look through their eyes, what do we see? Does it send the message that we would want to give them--a life of patience, quietness, giving, and determination to be prepared for the great high calling of being keepers at home?

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