Biblical Vision for Daughters over 20?

Where biblically does the Bible speak on daughters (especially older daughters when they reach their twenties) and the fathers as the authority? Would the Lord give the daughter a vision for ministry early in life and not to the parents, or would the Lord give both of them the same vision? For example: the ministry of missions etc., or a particular culture?

The following is our family's understanding of what God has revealed to us in His Word. We do not intend for anyone to interpret this as an extra-biblical mandate; it is simply our response to what we see in scripture.

Biblically, the principles in scripture indicate that a woman of any age is never to be uncovered. She is either a daughter of a father, or the wife of a husband. And in some circumstances a believing woman is under the headship of the elders in a biblically-functioning church. (Headship and covering meaning under the oversight and authority and care of.)

The authority of a father over the unmarried daughter does not and should not change when they reach a certain age--though our modern society will try to tell us differently! This covering is not to be a drudge or a weight upon the shoulders of a daughter (or wife), but one that should be embraced whole-heartily with gratefulness and appreciation. It has such rich blessings and is a treasure. An unmarried woman who finds peace and contentment under her father's covering now will find an even greater peace and contentment being under her godly husband's covering. We are to be joyfully submissive and appreciate this headship just like we are to joyfully submit to Christ's headship.

In the cases where a woman has no father or husband, she should be under the headship/covering of her relatives (such as Esther and Ruth). For example, when Naomi became a widow she placed herself under the headship of her sons, but when they died she returned to her family with Ruth. The only reason Ruth didn't go back to her people/family was because she placed herself under the authority and covering of Naomi in her words, "Your God shall be my God. Your people shall be my people" (Ruth 1:16-17). Naomi then placed Ruth under the authority of Boaz (Ruth 3).

What it all comes down to is our being content where the Lord has placed us. If we are rebellious against the God-ordained headship/covering of our fathers and husbands, we are really rebelling against the Lord.

Our mission and God-given role as women is to be man's helpmeet. That is why we were created--for it isn't good that man should be alone. God's covenant mandate was that we be fruitful and multiply. Perpetual singleness is uncommon, and it should be regarded as such. That is a very rare spiritual gift, and in such cases the woman would still be under her father's covering or her elder's covering. The unmarried women needs to plan and train for the future. Titus 2:3-5, Prov. 31:10-31 are wonderful examples of what we are to prepare for in being future keepers-at-home or are to do as present keepers-at-home. (For more information on the preparation of maidens, please refer to our booklet "More Than a Hopechest" by Amber Moeller.)

If a parent has a daughter who is missionary-minded, her parents should take care in finding her a husband who is also missionary-minded.

Although you may not find a chapter and verse that says "thou shalt" or "thou shalt not" regarding what we have mentioned, the principles of these issues are quite evident throughout scripture. God doesn't intend for us to behave contrary to the principles in His Word or to conform to the socially-accepted standards and pressures of the world. A friend once said, "I'm under the authority of my father and it is his duty to protect and train me until the day he gives me to another man as his wife. Do you suppose it is fair to say that, given the father's duty to protect and train his daughter, a daughter shouldn't act or make decisions which would make it impossible for a father to fulfill his duty?"

For further study on what we have talked about, Doug Phillips' tape called "What's a Girl to Do?" is excellent.

Some wonderful resources on biblical womanhood and being keepers-at-home/homemakers are as follows (we do not necessarily agree with all views/thoughts expressed in these books):

True Womanhood ~ by The Pearables
What is a Family? ~ by Edith Schaeffer
The Hidden Art of Homemaking ~ by Edith Schaeffer
A Border Shepherdess ~ by Amelia Barr (a wonderful story of a young woman who is faced with many trials, but is faithful in her relationship to Christ and His plan)
Mother ~ by Kathleen Norris (story of a career-seeking woman who turns her heart back toward home)
Daughters of Destiny ~ by Noelle (Wheeler) Goforth
Let Me Be A Woman ~ by Elizabeth Elliot
The Fruit of Her Hands ~ by Nancy Wilson
Praise Her in the Gates ~ by Nancy Wilson
The Other Side of the Garden ~ by Virginia Fugate
Beautiful Girlhood ~ by Mabel Hale
Dear Princess ~ by Mary M. Landis
The King's Daughter ~ by A&B Publication

Also, the best thing that we could recommend, if you haven't already done so, is search the scriptures and allow His infallible Word to guide you in His Truth on these points (especially doing research on father/daughter relationships in the Old Testament). Pray for His wisdom and He will reveal it to you.

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